Failure

Noun: The lack of success

Last week in the gym, it was all about reaching our personal best (PB). How far can we push ourselves, before we fail. 

True failure requires mental grit and determination. It means physically performing at a level above what you’ve ever achieved in the past. It’s going beyond what you perceive your limit to be, demonstrating vulnerability and operating well outside your comfort or familiar zone. Failure is not easy. 

If you follow my stories on Instagram (@emmak_health), you will know that I did not beat 2/3 previous PB gym lifts following six months of training.

I failed.

I was initially very disappointed with my results, I even thought ‘what’s the point in continuing’ even though I love training. So here’s the thing about failure, or fear of failure – it can be crippling, paralysing and derailing for no good reason at all. I used to be very afraid of failure, always wanting to be right and rarely asking questions or demonstrating vulnerability but not anymore.

There is a great book that I recommend everyone read by Dr Carol S. Dweck titled ‘Mindset’, she says “An assessment at one point in time has little value for understanding someone’s ability, let alone their potential to succeed in the future.” Put simply, failure today, does not mean failure tomorrow. A baby will fall over 100 times while learning to walk, but at no point in time does a baby think ‘hmm maybe walking isn’t for me.’ 

It’s also important to look at the bigger picture, had I really failed? On that day/ week I was not stronger, but in the last 6 months here’s what I acheived:

• I am the HAPPIEST now than I have ever been in my physique
• I’ve learnt a tonne about nutrition 
• I’ve started to pursue my passion for Health Coaching
• I have a great balance with training and food, I don’t have have to slog myself for hours in the gym and enjoy nourishing food and treats daily. 
• I’m fit, healthy, strong and a role model for my son. 

I may not have beaten all of my lifts, but I feel at my personal best. It’s so important to value what you’re doing, regardless of the outcome. Reviewing the bigger picture has allowed me to identify what I’ve learnt and gained as well as what requires more effort. For the next 12 weeks at gym, my focus will be on proper form and progressive overload (incrementally and strategically increasing my weights weekly). 

Effort is not weakness, however the idea of trying and still failing leaving you without excuses can be terrifying. It takes away your ability to say ‘I COULD have done X’ because once you’ve tried, you can’t say that any more. Fail without excuses. 

When all is said and done, you can look back and say “I could have been … Or you can look back and say I gave my all for the things I valued” – Dr Carol S. Dweck. The choice is yours.